My Chemical Romance

When my daughter first started listening to My Chemical Romance, I knew I needed to learn more about them. I trust her a lot, but doesn't their name imply approval of drug and alcohol abuse? Why would she like a band like that?

I started by asking her what she liked best about them. She told me it was their passion. I could immediately relate to that. I like most musical genres, but a band doesn't become a favorite unless they sing like they care more about sharing the music than about getting wealthy.

She showed me a DVD about them. In it, they chronicle Gerard Way's struggle with drug and alcohol abuse. Despite their name, this is a band that most definitely does not condone the drug lifestyle. They deliberately used footage that would discourage others. I can't imagine most people allowing others to see them in their worst moments, but this band obviously realizes one of the benefits of having fans. They can use the mistakes in their lives to influence others.

My daughter then played me some of her favorites. She was right when she mentioned passion. This band sounds like they are playing because they need to. It's who they are.

Since that time, some of their songs have become an important part of our lives. The Ghost of You is one example. In that song, there are eight memorable words:

You are never coming home, never coming home

When my mother was in the hospital in the last month of her life, those words haunted me. Every day on the way to visit her they played over and over in my mind. Unfortunately, they proved true. She never did come home. That song still brings back those memories.

Another meaningful song for us is Helena. This song is about Gerard's grandmother. I love it when bands aren't afraid to show love to their families.

There is a casket scene in the Helena video. At one point you can see and hear Gerard choke up for a moment. My daughter watched this over and over after losing her Grandmother. Her friends never understood her grief, but MCR did. They showed that it is right to honor our loved ones in our grief.

MCR has a new CD, The Black Parade. There is a lot to like in it. Here's my favorite part from the title song:

When I was a young boy

My father took me into the city

To see a marching band.

He said, "Son when you grow up would you be the savior of the broken, the beaten and the damned?"

He said "Will you defeat them, your demons, and all the non-believers, the plans that they have made?"

In the song Cancer, Gerard is singing about his last days. The key line, which I know is true for many when they are dying, is

'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you.

To some, it might appear that MCR is obsessed by death. The newest CD is, in fact, about a death journey. After seeing how we avoid death in our society, I think a CD like this has a lot to offer.

We need to be able to talk better about death. We need to share our fears and our grief. It seems that when a person grieves, the only thing others want to do is get them to stop.

Maybe that's just a way of trying to help. It's much better to help through understanding. That's one reason why I enjoy this CD.

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For parents who may quote other lines from other songs to convince me of how bad MCR is for kids, I can say that I don't know every word of every song. I just know how they've influenced my daughter, and it's all been positive. I'm sure some kids find the negative.
If your child is being badly influenced by the music of My Chemical Romance, by all means take the music out of your home. If not, don't judge by their looks and what you may have heard. Ask her what she likes about them. You might be pleasantly surprised.

In closing, here's a quote from Gerard. It must touch some hearts because it's been posted all over the internet.

Hey girls, you're beautiful.

Don't look at those stupid magazines with sticklike models. Eat healthy and exercise.

Don't let anyone tell you your not good enough.You are too good.

Love your family with all your heart and listen to it.

You are gorgeous, whether you're a size 3 or a size 14. It doen't matter what you look like on the outside, as long as you're a good person, as long as you respect others.

I know it's been told hundreds of times before, but it's true. Hey girls, you are beautiful.

Respect

In my last post, I wrote about John Shore's new book and his emphasis on respect. It occurred to me that many readers will feel they treat people with respect even when their beliefs are different. Maybe most of you do. I just have a few questions to ask. Though it will be written with Christians' attitude towards non-Christians (because that is the focus of John's book) you can use the same questions to examine how you treat others with regards to political or other beliefs.

1. As a Christian, when you meet someone who is not a Christian, is your immediate reaction to try to convert that person?

2. When meeting a non-Christian, is your first reaction that you have an obligation to try to convert that person?

3. When you talk about your beliefs and the person you are talking to disagrees, do you think that person is going to hell?

4. Do you think that those who claim to be Christian but don't go to your particular kind of church are truly not Christian, and therefore going to hell? (I'm Catholic. I'm used to this attitude from others.)

5. What happens when you try to convert somebody and they just don't get it? Do you continue a friendship?

6. Do you have anybody in your life who you truly care for who is not a Christian?

7. Are there any non-Christians in your life who you see for who they are, and not just as a conversion project?

You get the idea. Jesus treated everybody with love. If you're Christian, follow His example.

If you're not Christian, Jesus still offers a great example to follow.

Happy Valentine's Day.

John Shore

On any given day I can expect somebody to come knocking on my door to tell my why I am not "saved" and why the information they want to give me offers me the only path into heaven. Fortunately, my dog tends to spend her time growling at them, providing me with a quick exit.

Sometimes I wonder how many doors they knock on before finding somebody willing to listen. I wonder if they actually have any success bringing people to believe the way that they do.

John Shore has recently released a book called I'm O.K., You're Not:The Message We're Sending Unbelievers And Why We Should Stop . He has some good suggestions for those who find that trying to convert others doesn't work all that well.

I don't want to give away too much because it's worth your time to read the book. I'll give you one rather big clue to his approach, though. John advocates the use of respect. Yes, he actually thinks it's a good idea to represent Jesus by treating people the same way He did.

What a novel idea. Yet if it's so obvious, why don't people just do it?

Though John's book focusses on the way Christians sometimes treat non-Christians, the same applies in almost every area of life. Think about all the arguments people get into about politics and other hot-button issues. Rather than treating people with respect, we see those who think in ways that we disagree with as someone to try to change.

In other words, I'm right, you're wrong.

Read John's book, even if you're not an evangelist. He makes a lot of good points about living in general. If you read beyond the obvious, his words will give you a lot to think about.

John Shore makes liberal use of humor. You'll laugh out loud frequently, while at the same time recognizing yourself (maybe even painfully) in some of what he says.

Read the book. If you take it to heart, you'll find your own little corner of the earth becomes a better place.

Christmas After Loss

I am finding so many worthwhile things to blog about, but haven't done it. The holidays have been fairly difficult this year. Trying to put up the tree and other Christmas decorations has brought back so many childhood memories, as well as a sense of the limited time we really have on earth.

If you've read my previous posts, you'll know that the sadness this year is because of the loss of my Mom.

I love listening to Christmas music, but it brings tears to my eyes every time now because December was full of Christmas music growing up. I listen anyway. The memories are worth the tears.

My daughter wanted the Relient K Christmas CD. It turns out it's quite difficult to get, so I ended up purchasing a digital download. It's all pretty good and really shows their sense of humor (starting with the title, Deck the Halls and Bruise Your Hand.) As much as I like it overall, one song in particular stands out. It's called I Celebrate the Day. It asks the age-old question about whether or not Jesus knew He was the Saviour from birth. It also addresses the issue of seeing another year go by and finding your relationship with God in the same place it was the year before. Here's the first verse:

And with this Christmas wish is missed the point I could convey
If only I could find the words to say to let You know how much You've touched my life
Because here is where You're finding me, in the exact same place as New Year's eve
And from a lack of my persistency we're less than half as close as I want to be

I can relate all too well to that. That song is one of the reasons I keep listening to Christmas music despite the tears.

Something unusual happened while I was putting up the tree. You remember how, as a child, you really felt the magic of Christmas? Remember how Christmas had a distinct feel to it? Then you reach a certain age and you find that the magic isn't the same. Christmas is still good, but feels a lot like any other day.

For several minutes while putting up the tree that old feeling of Christmas came back. It's been decades since I've felt it. I'm still amazed that through my tears, I could still feel the magic. All I could do is hope that it was Mom stopping by with her own Christmas gift.

The only thing I can say is that it was priceless.

I wish Christmas magic for all of you this season.

Passion and Service

I am Catholic. I love the Mass, but in the past I have sometimes found that my mind wanders a great deal when I'm at church. There is a lot of repetition, and it can be hard to keep attending to the same words week after week.

I've often wondered how priests manage daily Mass and several on the weekends. They not only say the same prayers over and over, but if they give mulitple Masses they get to constantly repeat their sermons.

On Friday, December 8, we celebrated the Feast of the Immaculate Conception. This past year or so we have frequently attended a church where the music is inspiring and the priest clearly loves what he does. When I looked at the priest on Friday, it occurred to me that this man loves praying the Mass. I think he looks forward to Holy days because it gives him an excuse to offer more Masses.

This priest glows with his love for God and his passion for what he does. Needless to say, he has inspired a lot of people, myself included. I look forward to Mass at his church.

Switchfoot strikes me as being a lot like Father Mark. They love what they do so much that they will sometimes find a local coffee shop where they can play after completing a concert. These are people who are clearly doing what they choose to do with their lives. In the process, they have inspired many.

It makes me wonder: do people who follow their passions tend to be those who make more of a difference to others? Switchfoot has touched a lot of lives. Father Mark has also touched many.

Father Mark and the members of Switchfoot serve others while living passionate lives. I wonder what the world would be like if we all did the same.