The Holy Longing

Lately I've been reading The Holy Longingby Ronald Rolheiser. I heard of it through the priest at the church we usually attend. He started a group to talk about it on Thursday nights this summer. Unfortunately, I'm not able to attend the group, but I'm glad I bought the book.

This book touches me on a lot of levels. I'm normally a fast reader, but this one has taken time. There is so much to think about, to contemplate. The book alternates between touching your heart and soul with it's understanding and giving you new ways to look at things.

It grabbed me early on when it talked about desire. I'm going to quote a passage because I could never justify it by trying to describe it.

Whatever the expression, everyone is ultimately talking about the same thing - an unquenchable fire, a restlessness, a longing, a disquiet, a hunger, a loneliness, a gnawing nostalgia, a wildness that cannot be tamed, a congenital all-embracing ache that lies at the center of human experience and is the ultimate force that drives everything else. This disease is universal. Desire gives no exemptions.

It does however admit of different moods and faces. Sometimes it hits us as pain - dissatisfaction, frustration, and aching. At other times its grip is not felt as painful at all, but as a deep energy, as something beautiful, as an inexorable pull, more important than anything else inside us, toward love, beauty, creativity, and a future beyond our limited present. Desire can show itself as aching pain or delicious hope.

First I want to say that the comment about a "gnawing nostalgia" surprised me. Ever since I was a child, when encountering something especially beautfiul (usually related to nature, like one of those perfect sunsets or a day when the breeze on your face is just to perfect for words) I have felt nostalgic. I have often wondered...nostalgic for what? As a child, I hadn't lived enough life yet to be nostaligic for anything in particular, but I was aware of it and wondered about it even then.

Reading this passage was the first time I realized that others felt it, too.

When my faith was strong, when I had no doubt about God's existance, you would think there would be peace, but even then an ache was present. I think it may be an aching for the presence of God.

Yet there was peace, too, along with the "inexorable pull" Father Rolheiser describes. Peace and nostalgia. Peace and an aching restlessness. I could never make sense of it.

In my blog I frequently talk about wanting to make a difference in the world. I realize now that the author's description of desire is exactly how I feel in my drive to make impact the lives of others.

Then there's music, of course. It's always back to music for me. Rolheiser's definition completely describes my experience with music. At a great concert (whether Switchfoot, symphony, or any other moving concert) there's that incredible joy as music fills my soul. Sometimes the beauty seems too perfect to be real. At the same time there's an ache, a longing, in part because the concert can't go on forever and I never want it to stop.

It might be more accurate to say that I don't want the way music fills me to stop.

It was even the same when I played in band in school and college. Sometimes things just click so well when you're performing. All the players seem to understand, to be in sync with each other. The music is effortless and wonderous, and the musicians are one with each other.

At those concerts, it's hard when it's over. As a performer, you are not just a listener but a participant in the music. It's part of you while at the same time it's all around you.

Afterwards, whether attending a concert or performing in one, there's that "concert high" mixed with the low of knowing you have to wait for more...and that, in a way, it is never enough.

In so many ways, music and God are interrelated. I think that God uses music to bring people closer to Him. I think He created something incredibly powerful with music, which is why Satan doesn't hesitate to use it also. As we all know, the power of music can be used to inspire bad as well as good.

Maybe that's why so much of my blog features musicians. They have incredible power to reach others. With that should come responsibility.

Authors can have incredible power, too. Ronald Rolheiser proved that with "The Holy Longing."

I'll probably talk more about this book in future posts. I plan to purchase at least one more book of his.

Now I find myself with one more desire. I want to be able to write as powerfully as Ronald Rolheiser does. I want to touch souls the way he does.

Can Music Change A Life?

I feel so silly. I've been online for almost as long as online has been available, but I've just now discovered the "post to blog" feature on YouTube.

I guess that's because I don't use YouTube all that much. Now that I see how useful it is can be, I've started a new blog called
Can Music Change A Life? It's going to be filled with videos that affect me and others.

Please feel free to contribute by sending me links to your favorites and how they impact your life. I'd like to make this blog a tribute to the musicians who not only give us great music, but also great memories and great things to think about.

My Chemical Romance

When my daughter first started listening to My Chemical Romance, I knew I needed to learn more about them. I trust her a lot, but doesn't their name imply approval of drug and alcohol abuse? Why would she like a band like that?

I started by asking her what she liked best about them. She told me it was their passion. I could immediately relate to that. I like most musical genres, but a band doesn't become a favorite unless they sing like they care more about sharing the music than about getting wealthy.

She showed me a DVD about them. In it, they chronicle Gerard Way's struggle with drug and alcohol abuse. Despite their name, this is a band that most definitely does not condone the drug lifestyle. They deliberately used footage that would discourage others. I can't imagine most people allowing others to see them in their worst moments, but this band obviously realizes one of the benefits of having fans. They can use the mistakes in their lives to influence others.

My daughter then played me some of her favorites. She was right when she mentioned passion. This band sounds like they are playing because they need to. It's who they are.

Since that time, some of their songs have become an important part of our lives. The Ghost of You is one example. In that song, there are eight memorable words:

You are never coming home, never coming home

When my mother was in the hospital in the last month of her life, those words haunted me. Every day on the way to visit her they played over and over in my mind. Unfortunately, they proved true. She never did come home. That song still brings back those memories.

Another meaningful song for us is Helena. This song is about Gerard's grandmother. I love it when bands aren't afraid to show love to their families.

There is a casket scene in the Helena video. At one point you can see and hear Gerard choke up for a moment. My daughter watched this over and over after losing her Grandmother. Her friends never understood her grief, but MCR did. They showed that it is right to honor our loved ones in our grief.

MCR has a new CD, The Black Parade. There is a lot to like in it. Here's my favorite part from the title song:

When I was a young boy

My father took me into the city

To see a marching band.

He said, "Son when you grow up would you be the savior of the broken, the beaten and the damned?"

He said "Will you defeat them, your demons, and all the non-believers, the plans that they have made?"

In the song Cancer, Gerard is singing about his last days. The key line, which I know is true for many when they are dying, is

'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you.

To some, it might appear that MCR is obsessed by death. The newest CD is, in fact, about a death journey. After seeing how we avoid death in our society, I think a CD like this has a lot to offer.

We need to be able to talk better about death. We need to share our fears and our grief. It seems that when a person grieves, the only thing others want to do is get them to stop.

Maybe that's just a way of trying to help. It's much better to help through understanding. That's one reason why I enjoy this CD.

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For parents who may quote other lines from other songs to convince me of how bad MCR is for kids, I can say that I don't know every word of every song. I just know how they've influenced my daughter, and it's all been positive. I'm sure some kids find the negative.
If your child is being badly influenced by the music of My Chemical Romance, by all means take the music out of your home. If not, don't judge by their looks and what you may have heard. Ask her what she likes about them. You might be pleasantly surprised.

In closing, here's a quote from Gerard. It must touch some hearts because it's been posted all over the internet.

Hey girls, you're beautiful.

Don't look at those stupid magazines with sticklike models. Eat healthy and exercise.

Don't let anyone tell you your not good enough.You are too good.

Love your family with all your heart and listen to it.

You are gorgeous, whether you're a size 3 or a size 14. It doen't matter what you look like on the outside, as long as you're a good person, as long as you respect others.

I know it's been told hundreds of times before, but it's true. Hey girls, you are beautiful.

Respect

In my last post, I wrote about John Shore's new book and his emphasis on respect. It occurred to me that many readers will feel they treat people with respect even when their beliefs are different. Maybe most of you do. I just have a few questions to ask. Though it will be written with Christians' attitude towards non-Christians (because that is the focus of John's book) you can use the same questions to examine how you treat others with regards to political or other beliefs.

1. As a Christian, when you meet someone who is not a Christian, is your immediate reaction to try to convert that person?

2. When meeting a non-Christian, is your first reaction that you have an obligation to try to convert that person?

3. When you talk about your beliefs and the person you are talking to disagrees, do you think that person is going to hell?

4. Do you think that those who claim to be Christian but don't go to your particular kind of church are truly not Christian, and therefore going to hell? (I'm Catholic. I'm used to this attitude from others.)

5. What happens when you try to convert somebody and they just don't get it? Do you continue a friendship?

6. Do you have anybody in your life who you truly care for who is not a Christian?

7. Are there any non-Christians in your life who you see for who they are, and not just as a conversion project?

You get the idea. Jesus treated everybody with love. If you're Christian, follow His example.

If you're not Christian, Jesus still offers a great example to follow.

Happy Valentine's Day.

John Shore

On any given day I can expect somebody to come knocking on my door to tell my why I am not "saved" and why the information they want to give me offers me the only path into heaven. Fortunately, my dog tends to spend her time growling at them, providing me with a quick exit.

Sometimes I wonder how many doors they knock on before finding somebody willing to listen. I wonder if they actually have any success bringing people to believe the way that they do.

John Shore has recently released a book called I'm O.K., You're Not:The Message We're Sending Unbelievers And Why We Should Stop . He has some good suggestions for those who find that trying to convert others doesn't work all that well.

I don't want to give away too much because it's worth your time to read the book. I'll give you one rather big clue to his approach, though. John advocates the use of respect. Yes, he actually thinks it's a good idea to represent Jesus by treating people the same way He did.

What a novel idea. Yet if it's so obvious, why don't people just do it?

Though John's book focusses on the way Christians sometimes treat non-Christians, the same applies in almost every area of life. Think about all the arguments people get into about politics and other hot-button issues. Rather than treating people with respect, we see those who think in ways that we disagree with as someone to try to change.

In other words, I'm right, you're wrong.

Read John's book, even if you're not an evangelist. He makes a lot of good points about living in general. If you read beyond the obvious, his words will give you a lot to think about.

John Shore makes liberal use of humor. You'll laugh out loud frequently, while at the same time recognizing yourself (maybe even painfully) in some of what he says.

Read the book. If you take it to heart, you'll find your own little corner of the earth becomes a better place.