Two years ago today my Mom left us for heaven.
She spent her last 10 years in increasing pain. We never realized quite the depth of it until after she passed. She left writings behind. Now we have a much clearer picture.
She was an incredibly stong woman.
I should rejoice for her, but I'm only human and the loss is still too great.
Yet she continues to teach me. In my faith journey, I realize that I can't be complacent in a faith that can't get beyond myself and my loss. I cannot yet be joyous for her.
My grief is more about my selfishness and less about love. I miss seeing her, talking to her, sharing everything with her. That's all about me.
I'm realizing that shedding selfishness is going to be a lifelong journey, but a worthwhile one.
One day I want to be able to love my Mom and all the others in my life with a love that truly celebrates their joy, especially when they have the joy of heaven.
In the meantime, to nobody's surprise, when I turned on my mp3 player this morning, a Switchfoot song was playing. The song was Let Your Love Be Strong from the Oh! Gravity CD. It seems appropriate today.
In this world of news, I've found nothing new
I've found nothing pure
Maybe I'm just idealistic to assume that truth
Could be fact and form
That love could be a verb
Maybe I'm just a little misinformed
As the dead moon rises, and the freeways sigh
Let the trains watch over the tides and the mist
Spinning circles in our skies tonight
Let the trucks roll in from Los Angeles
Maybe our stars are unanimously tired
Let your love be strong, and I don't care what goes down
Let your love be strong enough to weather through the thunder cloud
Fury and thunder clap like stealing the fire from your eyes
All of my world hanging on your love
Let the wars begin, let my strength wear thin
Let my fingers crack, let my world fall apart
Train the monkeys on my back to fight
Let it start tonight
When my world explodes, when my stars touch the ground
Falling down like broken satellites
All of my world resting on your love
Happy Birthday, Mom.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Jeremy Gray Gives His Life
I won't normally blog about the same thing on two of my blogs, but this one is special. It's about somebody who gave his life for a child.
Anybody who gives their life for another is worth mentioning. I wish I could say I'd do the same.
Here's the beginning of the story:
A Kiwi priest has died a hero after sacrificing his life for a 7-year-old boy drowning off the coast of New Caledonia. Jeremy Gray, 29, was walking in shallow water with the boy while on a New Year's church picnic celebration, when the pair fell into a hole in a coastal reef at Yate, near Noumea.Neither of them saw the hole because the water was muddied by the recent rainy season floods. They were trapped by the swirling seas.Gray managed to push the boy out of the deep water and back into the shallows and, despite being tired from his efforts, refused to take the youngster's outstretched hand."Jeremy shouted 'go back, go back'. He knew he would pull the small boy back into the water and they would both die," said Father Bernard Girol, one of those at the picnic."He used all his energy to save the boy and he got tired. It was Jeremy who saved his life."
You can find more at "Yes, I'm Catholic" or read the full story at NZHerald
Anybody who gives their life for another is worth mentioning. I wish I could say I'd do the same.
Here's the beginning of the story:
A Kiwi priest has died a hero after sacrificing his life for a 7-year-old boy drowning off the coast of New Caledonia. Jeremy Gray, 29, was walking in shallow water with the boy while on a New Year's church picnic celebration, when the pair fell into a hole in a coastal reef at Yate, near Noumea.Neither of them saw the hole because the water was muddied by the recent rainy season floods. They were trapped by the swirling seas.Gray managed to push the boy out of the deep water and back into the shallows and, despite being tired from his efforts, refused to take the youngster's outstretched hand."Jeremy shouted 'go back, go back'. He knew he would pull the small boy back into the water and they would both die," said Father Bernard Girol, one of those at the picnic."He used all his energy to save the boy and he got tired. It was Jeremy who saved his life."
You can find more at "Yes, I'm Catholic" or read the full story at NZHerald
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Dan Fogelberg Left Us
I always wondered what it would be like to go to one of Dan Fogelberg's concerts. We were going to go on his last tour, but it was cancelled because he was diagnosed with prostate cancer.
The Living Legacy will be creating a memorial fund in Dan's name with the Prostate Cancer Foundation. This is a good cause even if you weren't a fan of his.
Dan would like that.
Singers can have such an influence on our lives. Tonight I'm grieving a man I never met, a man who doesn't know I exist, and all because of the music he brought to my life.
I love the heart in his music. That's why it meant so much to me.
My thoughts and prayers will stay with the family for some time to come.
Grief is difficult. I wish there was an easier way to leave this planet, a way that left us able to connect with our loved ones.
Dan's family, though, has the comfort of knowing that his life made a difference to others. If I died today, I don't know if my family would have that same comfort. I'd like to think so, but I just don't know.
Would your loved ones be able to say that about you? Have you made a difference in the world? Have you made a difference to them?
I'm finding words difficult tonight. I think I'll just close with one of my favorite songs of Dan's called Nether Lands.
Nether Lands
High on this mountain
The clouds down below
I'm feeling so strong and alive
From this rocky perch
I'll continue to search
For the wind and the snow and the sky
Oh I want a lover and I want some friends
And I want to live in the sun
And I want to do all the things that I never have done
Sunny bright mornings and pale moonlit nights
Keep me from feeling alone
Now I'm learning to fly and this freedom is like
Nothing that I've ever known
Oh I've seen the bottom and I've been on top
But mostly I've lived in between
And where do you go when you get to the end of your dream
Off in the Nether Lands I heard the sound
Like the beating of heavenly wings
And deep in my brain I can hear a refrain
Of my soul as she rises and sings
Anthems to glory and anthems to love
And hymns filled with earthly delight
Like the songs that the darkness composes to worship the light
Once in a vision I came on some woods
And stood at a fork in the road
My choices were clear yet I froze with the fear
Of not knowing which way to go
Oh, one road was simple acceptance of life
The other road offered sweet peace
When I made my decision
My vision became my release
The Living Legacy will be creating a memorial fund in Dan's name with the Prostate Cancer Foundation. This is a good cause even if you weren't a fan of his.
Dan would like that.
Singers can have such an influence on our lives. Tonight I'm grieving a man I never met, a man who doesn't know I exist, and all because of the music he brought to my life.
I love the heart in his music. That's why it meant so much to me.
My thoughts and prayers will stay with the family for some time to come.
Grief is difficult. I wish there was an easier way to leave this planet, a way that left us able to connect with our loved ones.
Dan's family, though, has the comfort of knowing that his life made a difference to others. If I died today, I don't know if my family would have that same comfort. I'd like to think so, but I just don't know.
Would your loved ones be able to say that about you? Have you made a difference in the world? Have you made a difference to them?
I'm finding words difficult tonight. I think I'll just close with one of my favorite songs of Dan's called Nether Lands.
Nether Lands
High on this mountain
The clouds down below
I'm feeling so strong and alive
From this rocky perch
I'll continue to search
For the wind and the snow and the sky
Oh I want a lover and I want some friends
And I want to live in the sun
And I want to do all the things that I never have done
Sunny bright mornings and pale moonlit nights
Keep me from feeling alone
Now I'm learning to fly and this freedom is like
Nothing that I've ever known
Oh I've seen the bottom and I've been on top
But mostly I've lived in between
And where do you go when you get to the end of your dream
Off in the Nether Lands I heard the sound
Like the beating of heavenly wings
And deep in my brain I can hear a refrain
Of my soul as she rises and sings
Anthems to glory and anthems to love
And hymns filled with earthly delight
Like the songs that the darkness composes to worship the light
Once in a vision I came on some woods
And stood at a fork in the road
My choices were clear yet I froze with the fear
Of not knowing which way to go
Oh, one road was simple acceptance of life
The other road offered sweet peace
When I made my decision
My vision became my release
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Jon Foreman Sings His Pain
The Cure For Pain is one of the singles on Jon Foreman's Fall EP. For a short time you can download it free here.I don't know how long this link will last, so I'd suggest you go there now.
Just be prepared. If you've experienced loss or pain (haven't we all?) you'll find this song fits the description of another song title, Killing Me Softly With His Song.
Jon Foreman shared his thoughts about this song, and they're worth reading. We've come to expect honesty from this band, and we see it again in the lead singer.
He gave me an idea for Christmas gifts. First, though, his words:
The Cure For Pain: I wrote this one in Texas on a day off. I was reflecting on the passing of time. I have been playing music in Switchfoot for about ten years. During that period, I have been fighting pain or running away from it in a myriad of ways. And yet the pain is a constant. I have had some amazing moments singing gravity away but the water keeps on falling.
I began to think the suffering I see around me, I think of the pain of a grandmother dying of cancer. Of a friend killed by a train. I think of the pain of death, of failure, of rejection, the pain of a father losing his only son. And I came to the conclusion that I cannot run from pain any longer.
Most of us experience pain, but we find that others don't want to hear about it when we're hurting.
A classic example is with death. I've mentioned it before, but it bears repeating.
My Mom passed in early 2006. I still miss her terribly, as does my daughter. Yet people started telling my daughter to get over her a week after she went back to school.
It's not just kids who do that, though. The first person to tell me to stop grieving did so 3 weeks after she passed.
Three weeks. Three weeks of grieving for the a woman who was there from before my first breath, who raised me secure in her love, who extended that same love to her grandkids and largely influenced who I am as a parent.
Three weeks.
It's not just loss, though. Nobody wants to hear when somebody is hurting. Maybe it's because we're running from our own pain.
If you want to give a great gift this year, find somebody who needs your compassion. Then listen to them, really listen. Don't try to solve their problems, just be there for them. I can tell you from experience that just one person can make a difference.
Maybe it will even help you to ease any pain of your own.
-----
My book is due at the publishers in a few days. I hope to write more between then and Christmas, but I still have shopping to do.
For those of you who have respected my grieving, you've given me a great gift. You are rare people. To all of you, Merry Christmas.
Just be prepared. If you've experienced loss or pain (haven't we all?) you'll find this song fits the description of another song title, Killing Me Softly With His Song.
Jon Foreman shared his thoughts about this song, and they're worth reading. We've come to expect honesty from this band, and we see it again in the lead singer.
He gave me an idea for Christmas gifts. First, though, his words:
The Cure For Pain: I wrote this one in Texas on a day off. I was reflecting on the passing of time. I have been playing music in Switchfoot for about ten years. During that period, I have been fighting pain or running away from it in a myriad of ways. And yet the pain is a constant. I have had some amazing moments singing gravity away but the water keeps on falling.
I began to think the suffering I see around me, I think of the pain of a grandmother dying of cancer. Of a friend killed by a train. I think of the pain of death, of failure, of rejection, the pain of a father losing his only son. And I came to the conclusion that I cannot run from pain any longer.
Most of us experience pain, but we find that others don't want to hear about it when we're hurting.
A classic example is with death. I've mentioned it before, but it bears repeating.
My Mom passed in early 2006. I still miss her terribly, as does my daughter. Yet people started telling my daughter to get over her a week after she went back to school.
It's not just kids who do that, though. The first person to tell me to stop grieving did so 3 weeks after she passed.
Three weeks. Three weeks of grieving for the a woman who was there from before my first breath, who raised me secure in her love, who extended that same love to her grandkids and largely influenced who I am as a parent.
Three weeks.
It's not just loss, though. Nobody wants to hear when somebody is hurting. Maybe it's because we're running from our own pain.
If you want to give a great gift this year, find somebody who needs your compassion. Then listen to them, really listen. Don't try to solve their problems, just be there for them. I can tell you from experience that just one person can make a difference.
Maybe it will even help you to ease any pain of your own.
-----
My book is due at the publishers in a few days. I hope to write more between then and Christmas, but I still have shopping to do.
For those of you who have respected my grieving, you've given me a great gift. You are rare people. To all of you, Merry Christmas.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Fall
Jon Foreman has a way with words, not just in his songs, but in everything he says.
His first solo EP, Fall, was released today. It's a pretty special CD to start with, but I can already tell that it's going to be one of those offerings that gets better each time you listen.
One of the things that draws me to the CD is his consistency. The things he says in interviews and through his blogs show us a lot about his character. His music shows the same consistency.
This is taken from his blog today:
That's my hope for these tunes: that they serve you. Let these songs wash your feet off.
He also posted a bulletin on MySpace that I want to quote:
But on another level the independence bit is only partially true. None of us are fully autonomous. Ever. We need each other, thank God! I'm thankful that I've been given these songs. I'm thankful that many of you have really believed in our music as a band over the years. I'm thankful that God has given me pockets and something to put in em. I'm thankful for my family, for tim, chad, drew, and romey. I guess I'm saying that we're never completely independent. We all need each other.
You could think that this is just PR, saying what he thinks will help sell his music. That could be true, but I doubt it.
I doubt it because I've had the pleasure of meeting him (and the rest of Switchfoot) a few times now, and that's just how they are.
I doubt it because I get unsolicited emails from people. Once they realize you're a fan of Switchfoot, they tell you stories. Jon Foreman has touched people in ways he doesn't even realize.
What makes it even better is that his bandmates are just like him that way. Sometimes I wonder if they have any idea what they do for people.
This blog was intended to highlight those who make the world better by doing things for others without even knowing it. I realize Switchfoot is beginning to appear here fairly frequently. There's a reason for that.
I'll never have the vast influence Switchfoot and Jon Foreman have. I'll never be able to make people think the way they can.
I can contribute, though, through introducing them to others.
That's why you'll be seeing more posts about them here. That's also why you'll see a few comments in my book about them.
I love the music, but even more I love that they have proven you can achieve fame and still keep your values.
I suggest you check out the Fall EP. For now it's available only through downloads, but you can get hard copies in January.
You can purchase it at JonForeman.com
If you like music that makes you think, music that you'll find something different in each time you listen, Fall is a great choice.
I realize I didn't talk much about the songs on the EP. Switchfoot fans, please feel free to post your impressions. Readers who aren't familiar with Switchfoot will beneift.
His first solo EP, Fall, was released today. It's a pretty special CD to start with, but I can already tell that it's going to be one of those offerings that gets better each time you listen.
One of the things that draws me to the CD is his consistency. The things he says in interviews and through his blogs show us a lot about his character. His music shows the same consistency.
This is taken from his blog today:
That's my hope for these tunes: that they serve you. Let these songs wash your feet off.
He also posted a bulletin on MySpace that I want to quote:
But on another level the independence bit is only partially true. None of us are fully autonomous. Ever. We need each other, thank God! I'm thankful that I've been given these songs. I'm thankful that many of you have really believed in our music as a band over the years. I'm thankful that God has given me pockets and something to put in em. I'm thankful for my family, for tim, chad, drew, and romey. I guess I'm saying that we're never completely independent. We all need each other.
You could think that this is just PR, saying what he thinks will help sell his music. That could be true, but I doubt it.
I doubt it because I've had the pleasure of meeting him (and the rest of Switchfoot) a few times now, and that's just how they are.
I doubt it because I get unsolicited emails from people. Once they realize you're a fan of Switchfoot, they tell you stories. Jon Foreman has touched people in ways he doesn't even realize.
What makes it even better is that his bandmates are just like him that way. Sometimes I wonder if they have any idea what they do for people.
This blog was intended to highlight those who make the world better by doing things for others without even knowing it. I realize Switchfoot is beginning to appear here fairly frequently. There's a reason for that.
I'll never have the vast influence Switchfoot and Jon Foreman have. I'll never be able to make people think the way they can.
I can contribute, though, through introducing them to others.
That's why you'll be seeing more posts about them here. That's also why you'll see a few comments in my book about them.
I love the music, but even more I love that they have proven you can achieve fame and still keep your values.
I suggest you check out the Fall EP. For now it's available only through downloads, but you can get hard copies in January.
You can purchase it at JonForeman.com
If you like music that makes you think, music that you'll find something different in each time you listen, Fall is a great choice.
I realize I didn't talk much about the songs on the EP. Switchfoot fans, please feel free to post your impressions. Readers who aren't familiar with Switchfoot will beneift.
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